(I’ve been writing my prayers in poetic form in a google doc. Episode Two was a little too personal to publish online for all to see, but I think some of the episodes might be more relatable and meaningful to others, so I’ll be publishing them here every once in a while.)
Lord, I am overwhelmed
That you’ve given me another year.
A full year with you,
In the glory of the life you’ve given
With such potent and beautiful gifts
That I can’t help but notice.
You are with me in the smallest ways
In tiny baby smiles
In a helpful woman at church when my son throws a fit
In a full tank of gas and open road
You are with me in the biggest ways
In a supportive husband
In kind-hearted, loving family
In gracious long-term friendships I inherited through marriage
In a wonderful home
In jobs that provide much more than what we need
In gracious gift-giving family
I look back over this year
And I see your hand,
Just like I see your hand in every year
Guiding, directing, goading, nudging, moving me
To do your will.
Even in the conundrum of uncertainty
I can know that you’ll guide me again and again
Like you’ve done before and before
Like a tiny doll
Snuggled in her blanket
Like a little action figure
That clips perfectly into his car
Like Tommee Tippee pacifiers
In a certain little 6-month-old mouth
How is it that you are so great a God
And can somehow be small enough to see me?
And how is it that in your holy, perfect majesty
Way too good to care about little ole’ peasant me
You can look with kind eyes and grant me so many wishes?
And how in the world is it
That I can miss your gifts and your kind eyes and your care?
How truly impressive it is that I can be so easily distracted!
How truly impressive it is that you remain staid
With love for me
Even as a three-year-old, I talked about my elementary understanding of your greatness
“You are so big
That I can’t even see you”
Yet your bigness didn’t stop you
From becoming small
Oh Lord, help me to see myself as lowly
How funny that the biggest, greatest God had such an easy time making Himself small enough for me
But I have such a difficult time making myself think that I’m as small as I actually am!
Last shall be first
First shall be last
Lowly shall be great
Great shall be lowly
Oh God, I praise you for your backwards kingdom.
Somehow, you’ve made my life so great.
Your grace is so much more than enough.